Dear Deidre: With debts that piling up, I resorted to set only fans account. I hate myself because I did it, but can’t see any other way out.
I am a 25-year-old woman. My partner is 27 and he trains to become a paramedic.
He is definitely the love of my life and has no idea of my content on the online platform.
We have been together for almost eight months. He is friendly and caring, and everything I want in a partner.
Before I met him, I was engaged to another man – who liked to throw his money around.
I discovered that he cheated on someone in our social group.
We rented a flat together, but he just walked away.
It was only when I discovered how many debts we were. We had a joint account that I left behind to try to pay off our red position and two loans since he left.
A few of my friends only have fans accounts and they earn decent money.
I don’t earn much from my work, managing a small gift shop and could see a way out of my debt by starting my own account.
Although I was seriously uncomfortable with it, I quickly had men who followed me.
But lately I have been asked to always do risky things.
I felt disgusting after a man had asked me to do something that I felt uncomfortable with. It was terrible.
This is not what I signed up for. Still, if I want to pay back my debts, I feel that I have to continue.
At the moment I just can’t see any other way out.
But I am so afraid that my friend will find out.
I didn’t tell him about making my debts or how I sort them.
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Deidre says: As you have discovered, selling sex online comes at a high emotional price, despite the extra money.
You will cause yourself damage in the long term if you set aside your natural feelings and may also destroy your relationship.
Take the courage to talk to your boyfriend about your money.
Make sure he knows that you are not looking for him to help, but that you want to share this with him. He can come up with other ideas to earn extra money or to negotiate with your debtors.
Please contact the National Debtline (Nationalebtline.org, 0808 808 4000). Solving my support package of debt problems will also help.
