More than two-thirds of entries in Chicago’s annual naming contest this year called for the abolishment of ICE, with residents flooding the city with anti-immigration enforcement entries in addition to more standard fares.
Of the 13,318 entries submitted between Dec. 17 and the end of the contest, 9,231 were simply “eliminate,” city officials said. The first entry came just 24 minutes after entries opened, although it was beaten by ‘ICE Aboliser’, which arrived in nine minutes, and ‘Ice out of Chi’, which came in at six minutes.
Ultimately, “Abolish Ice” made the selection and is one of the 25 finalists announced through town this week. You can vote until February 14.
An overview of the complete list, obtained by @tnertz through a Freedom of Information request reveals some real gems that the city has been missing out on – some for obvious reasons.
The anti-ICE theme dominated the variations throughout the contest, with dozens of entries playing to “De-icer” and several twists on Border Patrol honcho Gregory Bovino’s name. Other entries included ‘ICE crusher’, ‘ICE breaker’, ‘ICE destroyer’, ‘ICE-B-GONE’ and ‘Crush ICE’.
But Chicago being Chicago, sports references came out swinging. The contest got off to a strong start, with the first entry arriving just seven seconds after opening: “ANTHONY RIZZ-SNO.” Cubs fans also submitted “Sammy Snowsa” and “Ernie Snow BANKS,” while Bulls legend “Scottie Slippin’” and Bears Hall of Famer “Slick Butkus” represented the city’s other teams.
Not surprisingly, several variations of ‘6-7’ made the list, including the demanding ‘Slicks-7’.
A tech-savvy resident entered the binary code “0111001101101110011011110111011101110000011011000110111101110111” – computer language for “snow plow.”
“Slush Fund Manager,” while clever, probably hits too close to home for the city’s bureaucrats.
Former Mayor Jane Byrne, who many believe won office because her incumbent rival mismanaged the city’s response to a major snowstorm, gets the nod with “Jane Brrrrr-yrne.” Former local politician ‘Brrrack Snowbama’ is also in the running, as is former councilor and current felon (admittedly, there are a lot of them.) ‘Sled Burke’.
“I-Snow-Lated Incident” appears to be a play on elected city officials’ preferred response to violent crime on the streets, or CTA. Just an ‘isolated incident’, they will say.
The “Dibs Remover 5000” would certainly be a favorite in many neighborhoods, as would the more subtle “Chair Remover” – both nods to Chicago’s well-established tradition of using lawn chairs to save scooped parking spaces.
From the questionable pun department comes “City of Big Shoulbrrrs.”
Famous Chicagoans in the mix include ‘Mies Van der Snow’ and the triple threat of ‘Snowprah Winfrey’, ‘SnOprah WinDfrey’ and ‘Oprah Winfreeze’. What about that famous couple from radio, “Eddie and SnoBlo?”
Boomers may want to campaign for “Sleetwood Mac” and “Meltin’ John.” Other musical acts in the running include ‘Scoop Dogg’, ‘Snowtorious CHI’ and ‘Chaplow Snowin’. Also on the musical beat: ‘Plowed Mary’ and ‘It’s Time For the Plowculator’.
Additional entries ranged from “Flake Shore Drive” to the dismissive “Snow Thank You,” the papal “Snope Leo” and the meteorological “Cheryl Scott Warned You About This.” The latter is also on the city’s list of finalists.
Law and order were represented with “Thaw Enforcement,” while Broadway fans submitted “No Business like Snow Business.”
Political commentary emerged with ‘The Snowcialist Agenda’, ‘Flake News’ and a variety of ideas involving Mayor Brandon Johnson. The culinary scene offered ‘Maxwell Street Plowish’, ‘Au Shovel’ and, for those heading to Chinatown, ‘Kung Plow Chicken’.
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