It’s cake week here at the Great artist bake-offand the competition is increasing – and apparently eating it away. René Magritte was eliminated after the judges discovered he was snacking on apples from the pantry and trying to hide by holding one in front of his face; Unfortunately, his efforts were in vain. Last week we saw the showdown between Marcel Duchamp and best friend turned enemy André Breton, who called a food fight between the surreal bakers before storming out of the tent after Duchamp tried to smash a key lime pie in the face. Now there are only six participants left. Will they cut through the noise to present pie-making bakes with an artful twist, or will they crumble under pressure? Let’s take a look at their final entries.
Marcel Duchamp: “Untitled (fork with cake concept: remains of a meal that has already been eaten) – edition one of Infinity”
Neville started off strong, handing the judges a used fork that lay next to an empty pie tin littered with crust remnants. “It represents the idea of a cake,” he explained. A nearby note, apparently not part of the presentation, bore the words: “ART-WORLDERS I WOULD LUV 2 PIE.” As soon as Neville realized it, he put it in his pocket and apologized profusely. At the artist’s request, we have redacted some names for privacy reasons. Overall, a bold presentation, if a little undercooked.
May Morris: “Autumn Tree”
The unsung artist has done it again with this apple tree cake, applying her exquisite embroidery skills to a classic flavor and even adding little star anise pods to the surface. Unfortunately, we judges didn’t dare eat her creation because it was simply too beautiful to consume, but nevertheless it was a feast for the eyes, just like May’s own designs.
Alma Thomas: ‘The Blossom’
I will hear no slander about this pristine blooming cake, graceful and bright-eyed as its creator’s oeuvre. 10/10. Another judge gave points because the petals had a slight aftertaste of acrylic paint, but it’s all part of the experience. What is a little pigment in your cake?
Marina Abramović: “The artist is modest… Are you too?”
The artist had donned a plain white bib and was sitting at a table set for one person, with a cake on which sat a sign reading “humble.” I thought it was half-baked, and she didn’t even let us try the cake because it would “disrupt the integrity of the piece.” Mean.
Maurizio Cattelan: “Indigestion”
This is getting ridiculous. Tastes like literally spoiled yogurt, as we expected, and the provenance of the pie itself is questionable (we had some trouble with the artist sneaking out after hours and buying pre-made pastries at the local Trader Joe’s, and she then passed it off as his own).
Yoko Ono: “Pumpkin pie(ce)”
In an über-deconstructed cake, the artist hand-presented each judge with a beautiful speckled pumpkin, freshly picked from a nearby plot. “For what is a cake but the fruit from which it comes?” she explained via an accompanying pre-recorded audio work. Touché, Yoko. Touche. There’s not much to taste here, but the memory of pumpkin pie is sustenance enough.
René Magritte: “I refuse to allow this match, because of George”
Sigh. Despite his elimination, René cannot take any hint. His entry is a bit derivative, more oui?
